Who Am I?

Sometimes I'm confused at who I really am. Girlfriend? Wife? Mistress? Exotic Writer? "pretend" Porn Star? Slut? Can I be everyone? These days I'm not really sure who I am. I love every roll I've ever played in this stage play that is my life and while the scene may change and the next curtains open for the next Act, I change characters but never leave the old one behind.

I'm not really complaining, just stating a fact. I enjoy the way I live my life, just not sure if the world is ready. I recently told by someone that "You understand life and your role in life....and it appears you are in touch with yourself." That was just a comment in a simple conversation but for me it became a question. Do I really understand life or even myself, or do I use the many sides of me to cover up what I'm lacking in another role I play?

Sorry guys no blog to get you wet today, just questions and doubts of who I really am?

Vote for Me

He walks in a room with his custom tailored suit on, State flag pin on his lapel as he shakes the hands of every man, hugs the elderly and kisses the babies, he is the one I plan to vote for. Watching him work a room, always made me wonder how well he would be able to work it in the bedroom. I'm a firm believer that before I vote for anybody I should know all I can about the person. So for me that meant a trip to DC while they were in session to get to know my candidate up close, personal and stripped down in his temporary housing with my mouth on his voting poll.

What was suppose to be a "networking" trip became a trip that started an affair that has yet to see an end. A well respected politician with one of his most dedicated campaign workers. I canvassed the neighborhood for him and he then he would do the same between my legs when he used his tongue to give thanks for all my dedication that I'd given to him. Our first meeting under the sheets was like 2 old lovers meeting after years apart. He knew what I liked, and me pleasing him was so natural. He was good to me and I was a good girl in return. When his wife called (oh yes he is married) I handed him the phone, but still didn't get off my knees while he asked about the house, and told her how good it was having me here to "assist" him with his new project.

There was no secret that I was there in DC with my "Senator" but nobody would ever suspect that our relationship would go past the Capitol. My love for politics runs deep and this politician ran deep, inside my pussy and even deeper down my throat.

My legs are now dripping wet thinking back to those times, oh yes this one was no fantasy. Let me go take care of these juices and I will tell you the rest and a later date.

Say My Name

Am I the only one that loves it when I'm called out of my name during sexx. I swear when I'm in the moment and my partner calls me "babe" or "honey" it drives me crazy, and not in a good way. If you putting it down with me, I mean really throwing down where I'm begging you to stop nothing makes me cum faster for you to say "Bitch shut up and take it". I know some folks may think I'm just a little off for that one but I can't help it. I like my sex like a good rap video, nasty and full of curse words.

Any Nicknames out there, or will you folks make me think I'm the only one?

My Fantasy...

I have so many. I want to share them all. I want to have them all. Can it happen. Should fantasies stay just that, a fantasy. I've fulfilled some but each time I do, another comes to mind. I'm starting to think that instead of having a book full of fantasies, I just can't be pleased.

Are fantasies just a way of saying you can't be pleased the way "normal" folks enjoy life? What are some of your fantasies that you have not fulfilled?

Where did you come from?

I don't know if Lt. Colonel found out about my blog but he emailed me hours after I wrote that. I know he didn't know about it because our "relationship" never really went further the his bathroom and fine dinning. Fucking and Food was we were about which for us worked.

Have you ever been in a situation where you are working extra hard to be "good" but then somebody or a few people pop out of the woods and risk all your hard work. It seems like my life is full of people popping out of the woods. Not just Lt. Colonel, he really isn't an issue right now since he's in the middle east fighting Bush's war, even if he can send email that gets me wet as if he is in the states and on his way to my house.

"Hey U" Thats the text message I get at 1am a few nights ago. First of all why are you texting me at 1am and what does "Hey U" mean? The message came from Chris. You would think the way he sent me a msg during booty call hours that I'm still friends with Chris. Well I'm NOT. He is in the process of getting a divorce and despite the fact that I haven't seen him since before he met his wife, he thinks that getting a divorce means I want him. Reminder I didn't want you when you were my man that's why I left you remember. I was young and the excitement of what he could do for me took over how he made me feel, which wasn't shit. I know sex isn't everything (for some people) but for me, it is. Well Chris had big pockets but that was only thing filling up his pants cause brother man was lacking in other areas. Yeap big bank no dick. Nothing worse because you can't tell a brother that as it all that his tools couldn't hammer a cheap Ikea coffee table together much less put my needy self to sleep. And after being vocal with you about the reason why I didn't feel you why would you ever wanna contact me again.

I never responded to his text, never felt the need. Its been years since we've seen each other although our mutual friends keep us updated on the others life. Why can't some men accept the fact that no matter what you have, it it isn't what the woman wants or needs it isn't shit.

Basic Training

First time I spotted him, he was out of uniform but in a tailored suite standing straight up as he entered the room and almost commanded my attention with a look of power as if his rank as Lt. Colonel gave him authority over me. I was turned off by his aggornace and because I've always prfered the skin that touches mine to be dark chocolate his "Pretty Boy Mel Jackson look alike" image didn't catch my attention at first glance. When the room started to get a little rowdy, I was ready to calm the crowd down, but before I could stand up Lt. Colonel had already taken control of the situation.

He quickly learned that having control was the thing I respected most.

"Get on you fucking knees now" Those are the words he spoke as soon as the tour of his custom built home was done and I entered his master suite. The words that made me aware that this man and his All-American image was nothing more than a costume he used to cover his love and addiction for sex. Instead of white line, I gave him a creamy trail of my own crack to become addicted too. As I was on my knees trying to expose his insides I used my hand to cover his and mold his fingers into a griping position of my hair to let him know I was ready to give all control to him.

With his grip still tight, he loosened me up by leading me to the bed and inserting his finger into my wet pussy as if I needed an appetizer before being served the entire meal. He held a conversation with me about how he wanted to feel me wrapped around his dick with ease but never allowing me to reply to any of his questioning of "did I want it" until he entered my body with what felt like his fist but after I was lifted up from the bed, I knew it was his rock hard dick causing me to sweat. Before I could get out a moan, he gave me my order to not say a word until he told me it was ok. And like a good girl I was silent.

Silent about my relationship with him. Silent about fucking him in my office after work. Silent about fucking on his brand new granite countertops. Silent about ever adventure we shared...until now.

Fact. Fiction. Fantasy.

3 different words but for me they all define my sex life. There is plenty truth to my life behind closed doors. A lot of false stories because many think they know about me but really have no idea and well no sex life is exciting with out Fantasy. My Stories and My Ideas are not an outline to upcoming erotic novel, it is simply My Life.

I'm still new to exposing who I am so let me ease in at my own pace if you don't mind. But if you are going to sit around and read all about my life, I would like to know a little about you if you don't mind.

Fact: I'm never completely satisfied

Fiction: I like to be in control in the bedroom.

Fantasy: Lights, Camera, Action.

YOUR TURN: Fact? Fiction? Fantasy?